I Did It All For The Nookie

Okay, so I'm a husband-proclaimed "Wino." I used to stick to the same ol' type, by the same ol' brand, but since I started listening to Gary Vaynerchuk of Wine Library TV, I've found myself becoming a little more adventurous. By no means a connoisseur, but by all means a wanna-be bon vivant. I've moved on from Merlot to Malbec, and from Chardonnay to Beaujolais. So in an effort to get the rest of you out of your wine rut, I am hoping you all will indulge me in a little experiment of mine.

Today is the inaugural day of "Online Wine Tasting." (Fear not, while I'm hoping this will be an ongoing endeavor, I promise I will be back each day with more witty, satirical, and embarrassing stories of my life.) I will start by listing my favorite wines (by brand and type) for under $20, of course. And (hopefully) you all will comment back with your favorites. Please don't let this be a birthday party where no one shows up! (That happened to me once in early childhood, and might partly be to blame for my neurotic tendencies.) Anyway, try some of the suggestions other readers make and comment on those, too. I will attempt to keep a tally of the most popular selections and update you, maybe a poll to vote on a winner....who knows?

But before we start, here are some tips for becoming a wine snob:

1. Try to resist filling your glass more than 1/3 full; it allows the wine to "breathe" and makes it easier to swirl. However, if the temptation is too great, try using one of those novelty wine glasses they sell at ABC liquors, you know, the ones you are suppose to use as fish bowls.

2. Hold your glass by the stem, not the bowl. Your body heat can alter the temperature of the wine. And no ice, please!!

3. Give the wine a good swirl before tasting to release its fragrance. Give it a light sniff. Skip this part if you are sick; any phlegmmy audio is just, well, gross.

4. Sip. Coat your mouth with the wine, so that it reaches every tastebud. Some experts "chew" there wine to aerate it, thus releasing more of its flavors. You may want to attempt this, however, try not to gurgle - this isn't mouthwash.

5. Now this tip is for the serious (or lazy) wine snob: Don't use soap to wash out your glass. Just rinse with warm water and wipe clean. The soap could leave a residue on the crystal that could alter the taste of your next glass of wine.

It also might help to know some wine characteristics to enhance your wine tasting experience:

1. Color and Appearance: The darker the red or whiter the white, the younger the wine

2. Bouquet & Aroma: Is it earthy, floral, fruity, nutty, spicy, woody? If it's sulphury, vinegary, varnishy, or vaguely reminds you of dank, rotting wood - that's not a good sign.

3. Is it "oaked?": In other words, aged in an oak barrel, as opposed to.....um......not aged in an oak barrel.

4. Complexity: the more flavors you detect, the more complex.

5. Balance: good balance exists if the fruit, sugar, acid and tannins are in harmony, and you don't have one trying to "out sing" the other (like the lady with the fluttery voice sitting in the pew behind you at church - you know who I'm talking about.)

6. Finish: The after-taste. The longer the finish, typically, the better the wine.

Now you are well on your way to becoming an oenophile!

By the way, this is not just for the desperate housewives, or stressed-out, working moms, or desperate, stressed-out single ladies out there. I happen to think it's incredibly sexy when a guy knows his stuff when it comes to food and wine. So for all you men out there, brush up on your drinking and cooking skills...it might just get you a little somethin', somethin' tonight. (That coupled with your significant other's wine buzz.) Just don't overdo it. It could backfire on you, if you know what I mean.

So, raise your goblets, start swirlin', start sniffin', and start chuggin'! (Yep, now I know I've lived in Jacksonville too long.) Salud!


My Favorites:

Chardonnay - La Crema or Toasted Head
Pinot Noir - Bistro Wine
Malbec - Los Cardos