10 Things I Learned This Mother's Day

10. That my child receives at least 500% of her daily calcium requirement via Mac and Cheese, Cheez-its, string cheese, and yogurt (make that 1000% if my husband is in charge)
9. That in our modest 4-member household (we have a cat, Gracie), I am responsible for the clean-up and disposal of (at least) 3/4 of the poop generated around here.
8. That no matter how many times I have to follow my husband around turning off lights, tv's and faucets in unoccupied rooms, I will always get hounded for how much I spend on a bottle of wine.
7. That you can always cure an unhappy child with an icee pop.
6. That you can always cure an unhappy husband with an ice-cold beer
5. That no amount of interesting conversation I can muster-up, can compare to the intrigue and suspense of a 48-hour Transformers movie-a-thon, or The Players Championship.
4. That mothers never truly get a "day-off." They just add to their to-do list for the next day.
3. That a day like today, is not a good day for your 2-year-old to tell you for the first time that they don't like you anymore.
2. That the mixture of smells from a lime-bamboo pillar candle and 2-day-old flaked white ocean fish canned cat food that Gracie left in her bowl while we were gone for the weekend, do not make for a welcoming home-fragrance.
1. That the best gift on Mother's Day is not tangible or definable in any way. It is priceless, really. It's that peaceful, serene feeling you get when you realize.....ahhhhhh......everyone is asleep...I can finally watch what I want to watch (Desperate Housewives) while cozied up with my glass of Syrah on the popsicle-stained, overstuffed couch, wrapped in my cream-colored bamboo cotton throw and completing my weekly Sunday crossword puzzle.

Happy Mother's Day!